no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize