I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i've created a new STD.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So here I am, sexting at work.
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