hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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