Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
ok first of all what the fuck
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
