I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
