and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
