hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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