i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize