i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
