There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
