My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
