Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just pee around me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize