You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
