I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
