i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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