We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
