Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
