If i come over, it means nothing
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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