the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
