Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
