she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
