i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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