I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ladies don't puke and tell
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
