The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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