Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am naked and annoyed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
