whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
