Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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