you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
