Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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