Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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