You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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