Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize