she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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