Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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