Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
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