Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
