He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize