I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
