margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
