I look better un-naked...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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