i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize