but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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