No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize