sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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