u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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