Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
