I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
