ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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