So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
