dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
