She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
