So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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