I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
