That's intense
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
